Two Schooners

Two Schooners #036 - An Apple a day keeps the podcast away!

lifestylepodnetwork@gmail.com (Dave Gray/James Williams) — Wed, 28 Apr 2010 22:04:58 +1000

Guys really sorry for the delay on Episode 36, recorded at Easter. I bought a Mac, and during the episode I said to Dave (stupidly in hindsight), I've got a Mac now, so this episode will come out twice as fast. Famous last words. My brand new, one-month old Mac died during the edit, and went into Apple Support to be fixed. Two long weeks later they replaced my Mac, and thankfully recovered the show from my hard disk. So today, I picked up the Mac, finished the edit and am getting it out to you. Show notes to come later. Enjoy this episode! James

Two Schooners #035 - Esky roving reporters and beer!

lifestylepodnetwork@gmail.com (Dave Gray/James Williams) — Sun, 7 Mar 2010 10:48:28 +1000

This the latest and greatest episode where we attempt to do comedy… In Episode 35 of Two Schooners we introduce our esky reporters, grasping their beer coolers in one hand and their mics in the other to bring you their version of the world on location and live! Straight into your ear buds and into your neurons.

Two Schooners #034 - A street of pink tits...

lifestylepodnetwork@gmail.com (Dave Gray/James Williams) — Wed, 10 Feb 2010 22:17:31 +1100

Knightwise why would you dare us with such simple words... now you have to live up to your half of the deal, what was it? Pink Spandex for a month... Oh, hello and Welcome to Two Schooners 34, yes folks, thirty-freaken-four episodes of your favourite drunken podcast with Dave and James, broadcasting live from the bar! Who'd have thought Dave would have that much to say? Stick around and hear us repeat the words, pink, tit and street many times in this episode and all because Knightwise asked us to.

Two Schooners #033 - Oh jeez, not the nuts!

lifestylepodnetwork@gmail.com (Dave Gray/James Williams) — Mon, 18 Jan 2010 18:10:10 +1100

Sit down, strap in, hang on and belt up and make sure you haven’t got anything stuffed down your undies, because this is going to be a long flight. Woollymittens is coming to town and Two Schooners is quite underprepped, for this handcrafted bar-bound episode. We’ve got several under the belt for this one fellas, and the esky is looking a little skint, but pull up a stool and join us because there’s a yarn in the making on this episode, about the little furry fellas and a few too many beers.

Two Schooners #032 - Shut up! It's Christmas Already?

lifestylepodnetwork@gmail.com (Dave Gray/James Williams) — Wed, 23 Dec 2009 22:51:17 +1100

Sit down, strap in, hang on and belt up - this is the Christmas edition of Two Schooners and you're in for one hell of a ride! Dave and James are on the turps and having more fun than should be legal in this edition of Two Schooners. Hear from some of our most avid listeners, as we spread the love and christmas cheer on thick for Episode 32! Thanks for listening to the show this year, we love youse all sick! Cheers, Dave and James

Two Schooners #031 - It's all about the Effen Beer

lifestylepodnetwork@gmail.com (Dave Gray/James Williams) — Sun, 6 Dec 2009 12:40:11 +1100

Global warming iceberg wranglers, wayward beer couriers, big messy jobs and industrial-strengh irrigation – it’s all about variety on this episode of Two Schooners. Pull up a stool and make yourself at home while we also discuss movember’s facial hair and learn how Dave’s scrub turkey took a mandatory rest-break. Once again, the lids come off and the amber ale flows (again all over Dave’s mixer), there’s just too much fun to be had as we career head long into Christmas on Episode 31 of Two Schooners where it’s all about the Effen Beer! MELBOURNE PODCAST MEETUP (DECEMBER 12th): SATURDAY 12 DECEMBER, 5pm at the Riverland Bar down by the river behind Federation Square. Meet James from 2Schooners and Podcasters’ Emporium and Cait from the Aussie Geek Podcast and your fellow listeners. Follow @jameswilliams90 and @cait on twitter for updates – hope to see you there.

Two Schooners #030 - Dust, iSnacks and Soggy Mixers

lifestylepodnetwork@gmail.com (Dave Gray/James Williams) — Sun, 11 Oct 2009 16:04:07 +1100

In a week where you can literally taste the dust, Dave's mixer get's a taste of the liquid gold, amber courage and comes off a little worse for wear. Not as bad as the new name for Vegemite as some marketing bright-spark genius decides that 'isnack 2.0' will convince more people to eat their poo-brown concoction of processed cheese and the old Australian favourite. This is just some of the tastiest morsels simmering away at the bottom of the bag, this week, as Dave and James settle in to the bar, with an ice-cold brew for the 30th episode of 2Schooners.

Two Schooners #029 - Who needs a brain when Google has the answer for everything?

lifestylepodnetwork@gmail.com (Dave Gray/James Williams) — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 22:36:41 +1100

Yes folks it's an episode of stupids and dyslexic tuckfards on this episode of Two Schooners. Nothing is sacred, except the liquid amber as the duo of schooners arrive and Dave and James settle in behind the mics to let rip at 'stoopids' everywhere. Pull up a stool and join us at the bar with a coldie and a packet of Nobby's nuts as we try to work out whether Google does indeed have an answer to everything. And if we don't well, shit happens, and nobody won't be any the wiser anyhow. Send us your pics of your favourite beer as we decorate and renovate our 2.0 Schooners twitter background with your photos, pictures and contributions. Drop your pics to yourshout@twoschooners.com.

Two Schooners #028 - Dave, James, Some Random Sheep and 15 Cubic Metres of Concrete

lifestylepodnetwork@gmail.com (Dave Gray/James Williams) — Sat, 5 Sep 2009 12:46:58 +0100

Meat Ants, Random Sheep and 15 Cubic Metres of Concrete - there's all manner of discussion on this week's Two Schooners including a 'special' visit from The Herne who happened to be up at 3am in Canada when we recorded this week. Dropped from a great height, and landing smack-bang in the middle of your weekend this episode of Two Schooners guarantees a laugh, if only at Herne and his mad stalking antics. We also feature a musical treat from Groovezilla as Dave nips out to take a slash mid-show. Yes folks we have it all! This is Two Schooners. Don't forget to Tweet that you're listening (if you dare!)

Two Schooners #027 - Ugly Men Make More Sperm

lifestylepodnetwork@gmail.com (Dave Gray/James Williams) — Thu, 6 Aug 2009 18:12:11 +0100

It seems like a journey of a thousand miles to get Two Schooners #27 bedded down. It's called Ugly Men Make More Sperm. Why? Who needs a reason... after all you're listening to Two Schooners. There's a swag full of news for today's show and of course you can add your stories to the bag by tagging your funny clips with #2Schooners in delicious.

Two Schooners #026 - Post Sydney Meetup Show

lifestylepodnetwork@gmail.com (Dave Gray/James Williams) — Sun, 12 Jul 2009 15:05:27 +0100

Dave Gray and James Williams finally meet (in person) after recording the Two Schooners podcast for seven months. They are joined by Cait from the Aussie Geek Podcast in the studio in Sydney. Together they recap the 2Schooners/Podcasters Emporium/AGP meetup in Sydney on 10 July 2009.

Two Schooners #025 - Camel Nuts

lifestylepodnetwork@gmail.com (Dave Gray/James Williams) — Sun, 5 Jul 2009 19:04:29 +0100

Well it's D-Day for Dave when the razors come out and Dave faces the music, a very buzzy music, and he let's the nuts have it. By the end of this episode you'll be hugging your lucky-poo and thanking the stars above that this is not a video podcast as he let's the nuts have it! There's all manner of bag-swag in todays show including firey swingers, lemon myrtle flavoured beer and cross dressing sons of dead mothers. Yes, it's unsavoury, but it's exactly what you've come to expect of Two Schooners - this is Episode 25 "Camel Nuts" - hang on for dear life, it's going to be quite a journey!

Two Schooners #024 - The iBrick Farce

lifestylepodnetwork@gmail.com (Dave Gray/James Williams) — Mon, 22 Jun 2009 23:40:26 +0100

Well it's not fun when your iphone upgrade transforms your phone into a brick, and that's exactly what happened to Dave and myself just before this episode of Two Schooners. Apple - do some quality control! In this episode we delve into airlines cost cutting, sign writters language slashing and Dave ponding cutting the hair off his nuts... it's an odd-ball episode, and I can't go much further without giving away the plot completely, so enjoy this brand new sparkly episode of Two Schooners #024 - The iBrick Farce.

Two Schooners #023 - The Ducks Are Not Mine!

lifestylepodnetwork@gmail.com (Dave Gray/James Williams) — Sun, 7 Jun 2009 18:27:16 +1100

It's a bumper episode as we get right to the bottom of the bag as we road test some of Ireland's worst place names, we find a site for those of you who try a little too hard at twitter, 'don our Japanese Lucky Poo and wonder through it all how how Ryan air hasn't cost-cut themselves out of business... oh and we fail dysmally at our attempt to skype bomb knightwise. Strap yourselves in because this is going to be one bumpy flight... grab your credit cards, because you're going to need a sick bag for this one folks. This is 2Schooners 23: The Ducks Are Not Mine! Today we feature a track from The Rooftops new album Clean Dirt called "Lest We Forget"

Two Schooners #022 - Chk Chk Boom!

lifestylepodnetwork@gmail.com (Dave Gray/James Williams) — Sun, 31 May 2009 15:38:48 +0100

Our twenty-first show went off with a bang, 22 goes off with a Chk Chk Boom as we uncover all manner of sex lies and videotape, minus the sex. Partially because we covered that in last week's show and the skinny one already beat us to the chase, or was it the fat one? In the end it all disolves like loo paper travelling down the S-bend for another episode of loud and stinking humour that can't be mistaken for anything else other than Two Schooners. Join Dave Gray and James Williams at the bar for another scraping of the poop at the bottom of the bag, as we wade - knee deep - through our listner submissions in another hour long edition of Two Schooners. Don't forget to tag your funny stories with 2Schooners in delicious and send your feedback to yourshout@twoschooners.com. If you're enjoying the show do your bit this week: Tell two friends about the show, and write us a review in iTunes. Thanks for tuning in!

Two Schooners #021 - Free Sex For A Year

lifestylepodnetwork@gmail.com (Dave Gray/James Williams) — Wed, 20 May 2009 21:55:41 +0100

Our twenty-first show and we go on with a bang... it's free sex for a year folks for one lucky bastard... and in the end it became a chore. Listening to 2Schooners is not a chore though, join Dave Gray and James Williams at the bar for a coldie as we discuss all manner of trivial matters in this weeks' episode of Two Schooners. Tag your funny stories with 2Schooners in delicious and send your feedback to yourshout@twoschooners.com. If you're enjoying the show do your bit this week: Tell two friends about the show, and write us a review in iTunes. Thanks for tuning in!

Two Schooners #020 - Flippin' the Bird

lifestylepodnetwork@gmail.com (Dave Gray/James Williams) — Tue, 5 May 2009 22:40:14 +0100

How do you solve Pig Flu, a swearing parrot and a bad case of Mcstaken identity? Flip 'em the bird! That's how! In a show where birds squeeze in and out of small places from the tin to the frying pan and into the flames, we watch a mighty small bird take out the swearing quota for this episode of Two Schooners in two minutes flat. Sit back, cover your ears, and assume the position for Episode 20 of Two Schooners: Flippin' the Bird.

Two Schooners #019 - Fursty Ferrets, Stuck Nuts and a Fat Bloke on an Esky

lifestylepodnetwork@gmail.com (Dave Gray/James Williams) — Sat, 25 Apr 2009 18:56:09 +0100

An explosive mix as we ignite the vapors, toss in a keg of laughter, a bucket load of testicular extraction and a dash of madness, in what can only be described as a very ballsy episode of Two Schooners. With better hearing than Constable Matt from Humberside Police, and arguably more insightful than "Learn with the Herne", Dave Gray and James Williams are the duck's nuts of Australian comedy podcasting. Enjoy the show and the usual jibber jabber from The Rooster in Two Schooners 19: Fursty Ferrets, Stuck Nuts and a Fat Bloke on an Esky

Two Schooners #018 - Car Wrecks, Mad Cows and an Esky Load of Mexicans

lifestylepodnetwork@gmail.com (Dave Gray/James Williams) — Sun, 19 Apr 2009 18:18:52 +0100

What does it mean when President Obama gives the Queen an iPod? It means she can listen to Two Schooners of course! And you can too, join Dave Gray and James Williams as we tell stories of bruises, car wrecks and bicycling hijinx with a few sound effects thrown in. Sit back, relax and enjoy an hour of questionable entertainment from the bar as we pick up and dust off Two Schooners 18 - Car Wrecks, Mad Cows and an Esky Load of Mexicans

Two Schooners #017 - A Happier Hour

lifestylepodnetwork@gmail.com (Dave Gray/James Williams) — Thu, 2 Apr 2009 22:16:35 +0100

Join chief pranksters #1 and #2 - James Williams and sidekick Dave Gray at the bar for another jam-packed episode of Two Schooners, as we open the bag and dive in head-first, to unload a schwag of stories to gawk at in an episode that's fuelled with loads of alcohol (in Dave's case anyway). Sit back, relax and enjoy a full hour of entertainment from the bar as we unleash Two Schooners 17 - A Happier Hour!

Two Schooners #016 - Happy Hour

lifestylepodnetwork@gmail.com (Dave Gray/James Williams) — Wed, 1 Apr 2009 21:40:31 +1100

Join public oddity #2 James Williams and sidekick Dave Gray at the bar for another jam-packed episode of Two Schooners, as we open the bag and dive in head-first, to try and find some stories to laugh at, in an episode that could, for the first time, be more ale than tale.

Two Schooners #015 - The Ring of Fire

lifestylepodnetwork@gmail.com (Dave Gray/James Williams) — Sun, 22 Mar 2009 18:17:32 +1100

It's true that a high consumption of red chilli peppers may give you the chili shits but we're not expecting that any time soon as we down some ice-cool ales and discuss the oddities in the week that was. So pull up a stool and join us at the bar for another episode of Two Schooners - the one that squeezed out with the title "The Ring Of Fire". If you enjoy this episode don't forget to tweet that youre listening and subscribe a new listener this week. You also have one more week to get in your review for the Lifestyle PodNetwork iTunes review competition where you can win an iPod Nano. For full details visit our website at http://2Schooners.com Dave Gray and James Williams do not appear courtesy of Barefoot Radler Brewers, although we wish we did. Leave your feedback or make your sponsorship enquiries for this show via email: yourshout@twoschooners.com

Two Schooners #014 - So long and thanks for all the fish!

lifestylepodnetwork@gmail.com (Dave Gray/James Williams) — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 19:53:07 +1100

A dead man delivered to a pet shop as tropical fish, calculating chimps waging war, and another enterprising octopus headline some of the stories you'll find in this week's two schooners, we've entitled "So long and thanks for all the fish". Sampling your trusty ale suggestions James and Dave settle in at the bar for another episode of Two Schooners. If you're enjoying the show, long in to the iTunes store and write us a review, and don't forget to check out the show notes and leave your comments on the blog at http://twoschooners.com

Two Schooners #013 - Surely you're taking the piss!

lifestylepodnetwork@gmail.com (Dave Gray/James Williams) — Sun, 8 Mar 2009 18:08:30 +1100

We sit here with our Barefoot Radlers and shake our collective heads at a bunch of crazy stories that made their way into the bag this week, in an episode we can only describe as "Surely you're taking the piss!" This show comes with a general warning that new media sites are bad for your health, as we uncover the latest in the range of cost-recovery methods from Ryanair, The Irish budget airline that's Irish in the every sense of the word. We uncover more octopus hi jinx, the worst dressed and we have an obligatory whinge at escalating ATM fees. If you're enjoying the shows, you can also review us in iTunes, which helps us keep Two Schooners in view of potential new listeners. If you can think of someone else who might enjoy the show, don't forget to tell them about it.

Two Schooners #012 - Rats stole my sausage!

lifestylepodnetwork@gmail.com (Dave Gray/James Williams) — Sun, 1 Mar 2009 16:39:24 +1100

Episode 12 of Two Schooners was done in just two takes. Yes folks for the first time in eleven episodes we scrapped the first show and did it all again! That's dedication for you. The second take, fueled by even more beer, was vastly superior much like the Barefoot Radler that fills our gullets. A bumper bag, in part thanks to our listeners stacked with all manner of quaint foibles, stubborn stupidities, and downright foolishness, informs today's show. You will find full details of the goodies we cover in today's show further down in the show notes.

Two Schooners #011 - Funny As A Fart In An Elevator

lifestylepodnetwork@gmail.com (Dave Gray/James Williams) — Sun, 22 Feb 2009 16:42:11 +1100

Another corker of an episode from Dave and James as they discuss all manner of stupidities, that seem to make the world go around, all assisted by the trusty Barefoot Radler. A real mixed bag of issues today from Syphillis mascots, to Melons and the all pervasive Silent but Deadly, you'll find it all here in Episode 11, of Two Schooners.

Two Schooners #010 - Wild Life

lifestylepodnetwork@gmail.com (Dave Gray/James Williams) — Sun, 15 Feb 2009 11:45:51 +1100

In Episode 10 of Two Schooners aptly entitled Wild Life, Dave and James are both boozing on the Barefoot Radlers today, as we examine the weird, wonderful and offbeat news stories that made up the week just gone. If you're enjoying the shows, you can also review us in iTunes, which helps us keep Two Schooners in view of potential new listeners. If you can think of someone else who might enjoy the show, don't forget to tell them about it.

Two Schooners #009 - Stiff Stuff

lifestylepodnetwork@gmail.com (Dave Gray/James Williams) — Sun, 8 Feb 2009 18:31:13 +1100

James got on the turps early this show with a swag full of interesting stories from the sublime to the outlandish. Dave - naturally - is in good form with his esky full of Barefoot Radler as we examine the finer points of school canings, erectile dysfunction, Royal websites and Google fails. We share your feedback and your reviews, 8 so far across all of iTunes. If you're enjoying the show, then let's turn up the heat in iTunes with some user reviews hey? This will really help us build the audience and community.

Two Schooners #008 - Anywhere But The Train

lifestylepodnetwork@gmail.com (Dave Gray/James Williams) — Sun, 1 Feb 2009 16:56:11 +1100

And in a week of heat that would make you wish you were anywhere else but on this stinking train - we bring you a podcast dedicated to all things Train. Dave's on the Radler again, he brought an Esky full of it for this show... encouraged I might add by Tom125!. If you're enjoying the show, then let's turn up the heat in iTunes with some user reviews hey? This will really help us build the audience and community.

Two Schooners #007 - The Episode Whose Name Cannot Be Mentioned

lifestylepodnetwork@gmail.com (Dave Gray/James Williams) — Sun, 25 Jan 2009 11:22:40 +1100

If last week was about aviation, then this week is about dumb social media execution. This week folks, has been a week of fakes and fraud on the Australian social media scene. Dave has found Barefoot Radler, and so trying to get a coherent word out of him was a challenge, and of course we venture into tech and Dave has a rant about his ISP. If we didn't sound like raving lunatics last week, we will this week! Join us for Two Schooners #007: The Episode Whose Name Cannot Be Mentioned. If you like this episode, consider sharing it with a friend and writing a review for us in iTunes! Like always you can send your feedback, comments, flames and suggestions to yourshout@twoschooners.com Thanks for your feedback guys and thanks for listening!

Two Schooners #006 - Flights of Fancy

lifestylepodnetwork@gmail.com (Dave Gray/James Williams) — Sun, 18 Jan 2009 10:57:58 +1100

In this episode there's a lot of flying stuff, a touch of cell phone shennanigans and perhaps a scientific link between sneezing and orgasm. Do we sound like raving lunatics yet? Listen in and find out on Two Schooners #006: Flights of Fancy. If you like this episode, consider sharing it with a friend and writing a review for us in iTunes! Like always you can send your feedback, comments, flames and suggestions to yourshout@twoschooners.com Thanks for your feedback guys and thanks for listening!

Two Schooners #005 - It's All About The Belch!

lifestylepodnetwork@gmail.com (Dave Gray/James Williams) — Fri, 9 Jan 2009 21:14:06 +1100

This week we solve some more of the many problems, uncovered this week in the media including a Christmas Turkey cooked to perfection, ex-Australian Prime Minister, John Howard bumping Obama at the US Presidential Guest House, Lucky Beer and fortune cookies and an update on Dave's corn stalks!

Two Schooners #004 - Drinking In The New Year!

lifestylepodnetwork@gmail.com (Dave Gray/James Williams) — Sun, 4 Jan 2009 12:42:17 +1100

Dave and James wrap up Christmas with an update on the nerf guns, the water pistols and a new trampoline. We find out whether Dave's wife did like her last-minute Christmas present after all, and we explore some of the dumbest moments of business in 2008. With things this stupid, we can only hope that 2009 makes us a little wiser.

Two Schooners #003 - And What About Christmas?

lifestylepodnetwork@gmail.com (Dave Gray/James Williams) — Wed, 24 Dec 2008 13:38:07 +1100

Two Schooners #003 - And What About Christmas? Thanks for tuning in this year, and we'll see you for new and improved shows in 2009!

Two Schooners #002 - Is the Internet making you stoopid?

lifestylepodnetwork@gmail.com (Dave Gray/James Williams) — Sun, 14 Dec 2008 14:04:46 +1100

Two Schooners #002 - Is the Internet making you stoopid?

Two Schooners #001 - Beer, Cellphones and Guns

lifestylepodnetwork@gmail.com (Dave Gray/James Williams) — Sun, 7 Dec 2008 13:58:23 +1100

Two Schooners #001 - Beer, Cellphones and Guns